Love From Heckerty

Best British Fish and Chips



Zanzibar was hungry. He prowled around the cave looking for sardines, bones, scraps – anything to take his mind off the empty feeling in his tummy. He was restless and he couldn’t get my attention at all. I had my nose deep in my Cauldron Cookery Book, and I wasn’t at all sure what I was looking for. Zanz scratched at me. And meowed. He always does that when he wants something. I think he thinks it worked when he was a kitten, so he tries it on now. Usually he just talks – like any other witches’ cat.

“What’s the matter,” I asked him, wishing he wouldn’t bother me now, not when I was finding out what I thought I was looking for. “Dratted Tadpoles, Zanz,” I said. “Can’t you see I’m busy? Now, which came first fish and chips, or chips and fish?”

Zanzibar looked at me as if I’d told him he’d won the lottery. “Fish and chips,” he said happily. “Yes, Heckerty, that’s exactly what I’d like. Fish and chips.”

“I wasn’t offering you dinner, I said, ” I just wanted to know which came first the fish or the chips or, if you like, the chips or the fish?”

“I like, I like,” squealed Zanzibar jumping up and down and running round my legs and tangling his tail, which he does often.

Well dear friends, what was I to do?

Reluctantly I put down the book, and took my broomstick. “Zanzibar,” I said. “If you want fish and ……” but I couldn’t finish my sentence. Zanz already had the door of the cave wide open and was heading outside to jump ont he broomstick. I followed him. “Where shall we go for fish and chips?” I asked him.  “England,” he said. “The best fish and chips in the world are British.” I had to agree.

So off we flew into the night – and found Zanzibar his English fish and chips – which he was absolutely thrilled with.


He had a big piece of cod with chips and I had a big piece of haddock with chips and it was scrumptious!

“Now, I said as we headed for home.”lets fly back to the cave and plan another adventure.”

But Zanzibar was already stretched out along the broomstick, purring gently. But it wasn’t really purring. What he was saying was “fish and chips, chips and fish, fish and chips, chips and fish”….. and he fell fast asleep.


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